One of the most disturbing symptoms of menopause that I experienced wasn’t the hot flashes or weight gain (especially belly fat)… it was the MOOD SWINGS.
I would be in a decent mood, having had a decent day…nothing disturbing going on and no unusual stress, then some small thing, some small trigger would go through my mind and I would suddenly be in a rage. It started to become so prevalent that I even nicknamed them “the angry nasties”.
Now I pride myself on being a pretty peaceful, easy going, relaxed person. As I mentioned in a previous post…as a life coach it is important to me and to everyone to have a sense of peace. But I could be meditating and doing various self care and/or spiritual techniques and suddenly be in a rage wanting to rip someone a new backside.
I would be walking around my house (when I was alone) having it out with someone in in a screaming argument, telling people off. Or I could be asleep in the middle of the night, wake up for a pee run and find myself in this rage again.
This was, to say the least, DISTURBING to me. I felt like I was turning into one of those old people who walk around muttering to themselves, oblivious to everything else except what is going on in their own head.
Strong emotions like that whether its anger, resentment, sadness, regret or what have you…they really tie up your energy and it makes it difficult to focus on anything. My energy was so caught up in this sometimes venomous anger, I would forget things, forget what I was doing and that would frustrate me even more.
I did see a therapist for a while because my anger always seemed directed at the same people. Maybe I had suppressed to much anger for too long? There had definitely been 3 or 4 life events that all happened at the same time that had really hurt me emotionally and spiritually. But I it didn’t really help it too much. I felt like I was doing more of the work trying to figure out how to deal with it and what was at the bottom of it. So, because of the time, distance and cost (even with insurance coverage) I stopped.
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Around that time, I had begun reading Christians Northrups book, The Wisdom of Menopause. This book provided more help and enlightening information that helped me get a better understanding of what was going on. She described the “volcanic rage” that begins to come up for women at this time. She also described how menopause puts your relationships under a microscope. I also had googled information on menopause and particularly anger and other difficult emotions that accompany this time. It’s like puberty in reverse and hormonal changes always effect our mood and emotions.
While this information was very helpful…at least I knew I wasn’t a crazy bitch weirdo…it didn’t stop the mood swings or the venomous anger that would come to the surface. As a spiritually based intuitive, I knew how angry, nasty negative thoughts directed at others could affect them and your relationship with them. I also didn’t feel at the time that I could “talk it out” with them and share my feelings – I was afraid I couldn’t do it calmly, that I would end up in a rage…
So at the beginning of 2017…I did a couple simple things that had a big impact.
1. I SURRENDERED…as I was walking around the house having more “telling someone off” out loud arguments while alone in the house. I stopped and did something like a Step 1 in Alcoholic Anonymous. In the first couple of steps in AA, you admit that your powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. While alcohol was not my problem, I’m really not much of a drinker, I certainly felt “powerless” over these mood swings and this venomous anger that was highly uncharacteristic of me. So, I stopped and uttered these words out loud to God…
God, I am powerless over this anger. It is beyond my ability in this moment to stop obsessing about this. Please take this from me and help me to heal, so I can once again be at peace.
I sat there for a few minutes and took some deep breaths and after that I was able to get through the rest of my day without further incident.
2. I STARTED TAPPING…Not long after that moment of surrender, I received an email from Nick Ortner announcing the Tapping World Summit. A 10 day free summit with experts from a variety of self help fields who work with tapping to help people.
I had heard of and done tapping before but hadn’t really done much of a deep dive with it. I had heard of Nick Ortner before but hadn’t really gotten into his books or work too much.
Sometimes things happen that way for me…you know about something or somebody but you just really aren’t that into it or drawn to it…then suddenly, something about it captures your interest and you can’t put it down, or stop reading or listening to it or practicing it and it changes everything.
I looked into the 10 day world summit and registered for it. Each days recorded interviews and tapping sessions were so enlightening. There were some on relationships, forgiveness, anger and other stuff that were so spot on for me and what I was experiencing. So I listened and tapped and tapped and tapped….
I so loved what the summit provided to me, it was 10 times better and more helpful than therapy had been. It really helped get to the underlying issues and tapping really helped to lessen the intensity of the emotions around those issues. So I bought the Gold package before the summit was over so I could go back and re-listen to the sessions I got the most out of. I kept listening and tapping.
And a remarkable thing happened…
The ”angry nasties” (my nickname for the mood swings that would have me in a rage) the muttering, screaming arguments I was having in my head and out loud had subsided.
And they stayed away. About a month or so after the summit, I realized I had not had any episodes of the “angry nasties”. I was having more peaceful sleep – no more waking up in a screaming rage. I was better able to focus and the mood swing and angry rages had subsided since I had started the summit. It was the longest period I had gone without being angry or anything setting it off.
I realized it was the answer to the call for help I had made to God when I surrendered that day.
These 10 days could change your life. They certainly helped to change mine. I have also used tapping to alleviate pain. This technique and event are truly amazing.
It is well worth the investment of your time and the peace and relief it can bring if you are struggling with difficult emotions. But hurry it starts next week and I wouldn’t want you to miss it.